Removing Splinters

Hi guys,

One thing I struggle with is forgetting. Oh, I don’t lose my car keys…I do show up at meetings, etc. But it’s the deeper things I tend to forget. It’s still amazing to me how often we have to relearn the same important lessons. I guess that’s what God recognized in the Old Testament when He commanded His people to regularly build “stones of remembrance” commemorating defining moments in Israel’s history. That’s why Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper. We’re forgetful people.

One of the relational building blocks here at BRCC from the beginning—one that has protected us—is the biblical principle captured by catch phrases such as, “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4), “going to your brother” (Matthew 18), and “saying the last 10%.”

It’s a core value in my life and in the life of this church. But it leaks. It has for me recently, and the results are debilitating. I can (and do) come up with all kinds of excuses, but that’s what they are. Sometimes I just can’t articulate the thing I’m feeling or holding against someone. I honestly don’t want to just blurt it out and “cut” people—Proverbs 12:18a (NIV) says, “…words of the reckless pierce like swords.” But if it stays buried, it festers like a splinter. I can refuse to squeeze it out but it only gets worse.

That’s what happened to me recently. I finally got tired of rationalizing and just went to the person(s) involved and told them how I was feeling. I owned it (using “I” statements and describing my perceptions and feelings). They received it graciously (sometimes people don’t, which is a legitimate fear but still no reason to leave it untreated) and relief immediately followed.

There’s another issue I’m becoming aware of (they never stop), and I’m gonna move faster this time.

How about you – any “splinters”?

Woody